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Journal Entry #4

November 10, 2011

April 27, 2011
Ugg. Feeling totally slothful. Just ate 720 calories worth of hummus. Stomach a mulch. My throat kills from smoking too many cigarettes but all I want to do is bore myself drinking red wine and pulling on the cancer stick. Got another email from the couple yesterday. They just keep bugging me. I did break up with them. Via the husband via email. He contacted me after I had emailed her and told her that I wouldn’t be able to go any further with the process. It was only once I had said no that he came into the conversation. He had been absent up until then. He emailed me wanting to know why I had pulled out. Basically told him that I found his wife to be too depressing for words. She did sound sad and unenthused. i know it’s just the phone, but you can get a certain energy off a person. Since then he’s been trying to get me to rethink my decision for the past week. At first I jocularly fielded his messages but now I just ignore them. I wanted to write “no NO NO! Leave me alone!” The other day, but I thought that that could be construed as somewhat inconsiderate. So. I declined. And now I am a slothful mulch pit. Should be working on hatched. Maybe I will tonight. There’s a deadline tomorrow. One that’s been staring me in the face for about four months. Apparently my face didn’t take kindly to being stared at because I mostly just ignored it and in turn ignored the masterpiece (barf) that is the egg show. Insurmountable. To produce a play. Well. Lets wait for the fringe deadline next year shall we? What I really need is a producer. Now where? Does one find one. Seems like all the producers I know are busy working on their own shit. Might as well finish the bottle of red….Did I mention I’ve been staying in my parent’s basement? Good Lord.

****Post script: Since being so full of self-loathing in April I have finished the script and have started to work with a producer who has so far been an incredible help.

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