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To Donate or not to donate. har. har.

October 27, 2011

Hey Ya’ll

Just finished a third edit of the old script. My mum read it and called me afterwards to tell me she couldn’t stop reading it so that must be good right? My mum says it’s cool.

SECOND JOURNAL ENTRY RE. CONSIDERING DONATING AGAIN
xo

April 14, 2011
Just got off the phone with Laura. Actually that’s Lisa. It’s weird. I was getting emails from both her and her husband but they weren’t specifying who was sending which one and I was getting pissed cause they were both asking the same questions. Then she wanted to talk to me on the phone and called way later than she said she was going to. Finally I spoke with her last night. Picherack and I were in a cab on the way to a show. My first impression. She sounds utterly boring. But then maybe she’s just really nervous to talk to me. I tried to put her at ease with my jovial attitude. She chuckled a couple of times. She’s a teacher. Grade seven and eight. She doesn’t sound very fun or interesting. I don’t know how much stock to put into this. I mean, what if she is just really nervous and stressed out about having a baby? Weirded out to be talking to me, and I’m so non-chalant. So Lisa is her alias. She is blocking her phone number. She doesn’t play an instrument. She likes to go out for walks after work. She met her husband in university then when she went back to western for teacher’s college (presumably) and invited her husband down for a weekend. He was sweet. And helpful. Brought the car. He is in IT. Office work. I don’t know. These people aren’t my people. And maybe I want my egg to go to my kind of people. She doesn’t have time for books. Or creative things. I don’t like it. So the question is. How do you break up with someone about this? You have to be gentle. I guess that’s the risk with having more intimate involvement. You get to be more picky but that also slows down the process. Weird. But true. She was concerned about my mental history. Worried that I was depressed or if I had ever been affected by clinical depression. She said that she didn’t want a suicidal fourteen year old around. That she had seen a friend go through that and it was horrible. Shouldn’t you be prepared to go through that? I mean, I guess that’s another thing different about this kind of approach to the donation- she gets to find out more about me and “chose” the one she loves the best. Strange that the man hasn’t been involved. I wonder what his alias is? Aliases. I gave it up. I have a press kit for myself. I am welcoming them to my facebook page. Yes. That’s right. Check me out. Fuck. I need to go to the gym. Been doing the early morning, late night dufflebag/cooking/serving/drinking shift. Hard life. But somebody’s got to do it.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 27, 2011 11:42 am

    A monologue in and of itself…

  2. Frances permalink
    October 27, 2011 12:30 pm

    Well, I can see the dilemma here! How about all those sperm donors? Did they go through this sort of angst, choosing parents for their sperm? I never thought about them before. I met a lady with a lovely little girl. The sperm donor was chosen from some sort of catalogue (in California, that’s where the girl was from). Anyway the little girl, Pearl her name was (I forget her Mommy and Grandma’s names) was lovely. Good match. But what did the donor himself get to say about the matter? No clue!

    • November 2, 2011 9:56 pm

      yeah. its hard to say. Maybe most people would rather not think about it, or just assume that the biological matter is going to a good place…

  3. October 28, 2011 6:45 pm

    i actually haven’t. so true though. I’ll be sure to check it out.

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